photo courtesy of blog.officebums.com
1) facebook is not the place for too much information. i wish there was a way to filter out these types of posts because there are certain things that the general public does not want to know about. for instance, we do not want to know about your daughter’s horrible diarrhea. i understand that as a mother, you want to help her and since you can’t, you need a place to vent. but please, for the love of god, i don’t need details. say that she’s sick. i do not need to know the graphic details. not to mention, years from now when she’s a teenager, i doubt she’ll appreciate you divulging such details to everyone. that’s the equivalent of talking about her period in the middle of the food court at the mall. she would be mortified. also, i doubt your husband would appreciate you telling all of your closest acquaintances that he’s pissing out of his ass as well. just saying…
2) two words. spell check.
3) i do not care what you are cooking in your crock pot. cooking in a crock pot takes about the same amount of skill as throwing a bunch of shit in a bowl and standing there for 8 hours. good for you. also, pictures are not necessary either. unless you are starting a crock pot cooking blog (kudos?), we don’t need to see a picture of whatever concoction you’re basically allowing to heat up all day. save the food posts for culinary masterpieces. i could post about the amazing pot of ramen noodles that i made last night, but nobody cares.
4) the trend of incessantly posting pictures of overdone quotes is getting old really fast. i thought the blinky gif went the way of myspace but oh how wrong i was.
5) please stop constantly gushing about how great your boyfriend/girlfriend is and how much you just love them when you’ve been together for a whole 3 weeks, which is coincidentally about how long your last 10 relationships with OMG THE BEST BOYFRIEND EVERRRRRR lasted before you were wronged horribly and posted all of the gory details on facebook.
6) i am very happy for you and your new little bundle of joy. but PLEASE allow for the nurses to give him/her a bath before you take a picture and post it on facebook. posting a picture of your baby covered in all kinds of fluids is just wrong. go ahead and post that you had the baby and there are pics to come but for the sake of our gag reflexes, post a pic of a clean baby so we can “ooooh” and “ahhh” and not “ewww” and “bleeeeehhhh”.
photo courtesy of audiokitty.posterous.com
7) please stop posting 8 million pictures of yourself that you took with the camera at arms length. also, please stop posting 8 million pictures of yourself that you took with the camera at arms length while your free hand is making a peace sign and you are sporting the infamous duck face. i once was friends with someone who had an entire album of these pictures. over 100 pictures of duck face peace signs. who has that kind of time?
8) see also, mirror pictures. just stop.
9) typin lyk dis iz annying n jst mkes teh rest of us thnk u r stoopid. also, if you’re arguing with someone and use excessive punctuation (such as !!!!!!!! at the end of every sentence), nobody takes you seriously.
10) and i absolutely cannot wait for another song related to friday or the weekend to come out so that one particular person will be slightly more creative for about a week. right now, like clockwork, she posts “cheers to the freakin weekend” every. single. friday. we get it. you like the weekend. you also like shitty music. in all fairness, it’s better than that period of time where she posted lyrics from that rebecca black song we all loved so much. or that other period of time when it seemed as though she posted “windows down, system up” every time she was in her car. come on, i know you can be more creative than that! and also, stop texting and driving!
i know, i know… why not just delete these people? i honestly don’t know. maybe somewhere deep inside, i am morbidly entertained when i see that she’s posted the same rihanna lyric for the 27th friday in a row. mostly it’s because it’s not one person committing these acts over and over again, but rather multiple people doing the same thing, which makes others think it’s acceptable. is it par for the course of our current society which thinks people want to know every little thing that’s on our minds? (says the girl with the blog, but i digress…)
i have no idea how to end this post other than /rant.
